Are African Universities Fit for Purpose?

Insights from ALU's 2025 Workforce Readiness Survey

By Mary Wambui Muroki, MSc.

Are African Universities Fit for Purpose?

That was the big question we tackled at the Reimagine Education event, held earlier this month at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Nairobi. When I first received the invite, I was thrilled. This was a conversation I deeply cared about. Just to bring you up to speed, I recently earned my master’s in Food Science and Technology from Egerton University. There’s a joke I once came across: Conclusion statement on my thesis: "I will be happier when I’m done with school." So, have I been happier? To some extent, yes. I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. But as we all know, adulting does not pause for celebrations. The next steps quickly follow; career decisions, financial responsibilities, and the inevitable question: What now?

One thing that has helped me navigate this transition is practicing self-compassion. I am allowing myself time to rest and recharge from academic burnout rather than rushing into the next big thing. That’s why attending this event felt like a win. That’s why attending this event felt like a win. It offered a chance to engage in a critical discussion, connect with inspiring individuals, and step into a space where education meets workforce realities and let’s be honest, enjoy the ambiance of a five-star hotel (and the amazing food!).

Key Findings from the Survey

At the event, the African Leadership University (ALU) unveiled its 2025 Workforce Readiness Survey Report. As part of the broader Reimagine Education movement, the report sparked critical conversations about the future of higher education in Africa and its alignment with the realities of the job market.  The survey gathered insights from 3,927 employers and 3,853 school leavers across nine African countries. The findings provided valuable insights:

• 51% of students worry about job availability post-graduation.

• 71% of employers prioritize hiring graduates with practical experience over degrees.

• A disconnect exists between university training and industry needs, highlighting the urgent need for stronger collaborations between academia and employers.

• Employers stress the importance of leadership development, technical skills, and direct industry partnerships in shaping workforce readiness.

These findings highlight a critical gap: while universities provide theoretical knowledge, many graduates struggle with the practical demands of the job market. This disconnect is evident in job postings that demand fresh graduates with five years of experience-a paradox many young professionals encounter. Yes, you read that right. If your facial expression mirrors mine, you understand the frustration. On that note, I want to express my gratitude to the first organizations that believed in my potential and hired me based on my theoretical knowledge rather than my practical experience-International Centre for Tropical Agriculture and Cargill LGH, Kenya. Your trust in me provided the foundation I needed to grow and thrive in my career.

                                                

The Brain Drain Dilemma

One of the most pressing issues discussed during the event was brain drain. The survey revealed that: 

• 37% of students plan to study abroad.
• 34% do not intend to stay in Africa after graduation.
• 64% of employers expressed concern about the loss of top talent to foreign markets.

These statistics emphasize the need for African nations to create environments that encourage graduates to stay and contribute locally. Investing in research, fostering innovation, and creating competitive employment opportunities were among the proposed solutions.

Like many others, I have explored opportunities beyond my home country. Exposure to different work environments and cultures can be transformative, broadening perspectives and sharpening skills. However, rather than viewing brain drain as a loss, we should consider how international experience can be leveraged for local impact. How can Africa create pathways for returning talent to contribute effectively?

Personal Reflections

The challenges highlighted in the report reflect the realities of many students navigating higher education in Africa. Throughout my academic journey, I encountered obstacles that are all too familiar to graduates across the continent:

• Limited laboratory facilities, leading students to send samples abroad for testing or face long wait times.

• Frequent university strikes, which extend academic timelines and create uncertainty.

• Emotional strain from seeing peers who studied abroad complete their PhDs while local students face delays in thesis approvals.

• Burnout from repeated failed experiments, leading to frustration and moments of doubt.

• Balancing work and studies, often stretching students to their limits.

These systemic challenges highlight the need for urgent reforms to make higher education more efficient, practical, and aligned with industry expectations. While I eventually graduated and emerged stronger, these struggles should not be the norm for future students. Addressing these issues is key to making African universities truly fit for purpose.

Moving Forward: A Call to Action

The ALU report is a wake-up call for policymakers, educators, and business leaders to take deliberate steps in aligning higher education with workforce needs. Some key recommendations include:

• Prioritizing both soft skills and technical competencies in curricula.

• Expanding academic offerings in high-growth sectors.

• Enhancing industry collaborations to provide real-world experience for students.

• Investing in faculty training and digital infrastructure to improve the quality of education.

• Continuously gathering employer feedback to refine university programs.

Conclusion

The findings from the ALU 2025 Workforce Readiness Survey highlight a crucial reality: while African universities equip students with academic knowledge, they often fall short in preparing graduates for the demands of the workforce. The mismatch between education and industry needs, the lack of practical experience, and systemic challenges, such as underfunded research facilities and frequent disruptions, hinder the transition from school to employment.

To truly be fit for purpose, African higher education must evolve. Universities need to integrate more hands-on learning opportunities, strengthen partnerships with industries, and equip students with both technical and soft skills necessary for the modern job market. Additionally, governments and employers must invest in creating a thriving ecosystem where graduates feel empowered to build careers within the continent rather than seeking opportunities elsewhere.

The conversation has been sparked, and the data is clear. Now, the real question is: How do we turn these insights into tangible reforms? It’s time for universities, policymakers, and industry leaders to collaborate in shaping an education system that doesn’t just produce graduates but cultivates a workforce ready to drive Africa’s future.

What are your thoughts on Africa’s higher education and workforce readiness? Let’s continue the conversation!

You can view the whole report here:👉 https://www.alueducation.com/alu-2025-africa-workforce-readiness-survey-report/ 

Acknowledgements

The African Leadership University.

Photo Credits: Wartexplatnumzdesigners. 

Contact: +254706453640.

About the Author

Mary Wambui Muroki is a wellness enthusiast driven by a deep passion for living life holistically and for the glory of God. She firmly believes that all things are possible for those who dare to dream, imagine, and believe in the beauty of their aspirations. Known for her vibrant and cheerful spirit, Wambui possesses deep wells of empathy, creativity, and imagination, alongside a unique and engaging communication style.

Her strengths lie in community engagement, critical thinking, and business development, with a strong track record of working with organizations that champion youth empowerment and grassroots community development. Wambui's journey has been shaped by both uplifting and challenging childhood experiences, which have fueled her commitment to personal growth. She has completed the Lead-Self pillar under the Rebirth sub-theme at Lapid Leaders Africa and continues to invest in her personal development through counseling and therapy. She recently took a master class on Purpose Clarity with Reconfidence Solutions Africa, further aligning herself with her life's mission.

Wambui aspires to become a certified sports nutritionist and establish a transformative program that integrates nutrition, sports, art, and life coaching. Her vision is to empower individuals, organizations, and communities to embrace a holistic approach to well-being and purposeful living.

In her free time, Wambui enjoys, taking nature walks, spending quality time with family and friends, and indulging in her love for acoustic guitar and lawn tennis.  She recharges by savoring  a hot cup of  tea or taking a power nap. With her infectious laughter and unmatched sense of humor, she firmly believes that the best is yet to come

Lets connect on LinkedIn! Mary Wambui Muroki

Thanksgiving Speech 
The Gospel Celebration Church 
8th December 2024

Praise the Lord Church!

It is such a privilege to stand before you today on this special occasion of thanksgiving. My heart is full of gratitude, and I want to thank our Heavenly Father for the gift of life, His unending grace, and the countless blessings that have carried us through 2024. 

My name is Mary Wambui Muroki, and today, my heart overflows with gratitude as I stand before you. It’s an honor to reflect on my journey-a story of resilience, faith, and the incredible people God has placed in my life

Allow me to take you back to a little girl in primary school, full of curiosity and dreams. One particular day remains vivid in my mind. I desperately needed to use the bathroom, but I couldn’t excuse myself in English. Well you see, I was born and partly raised in a small village called Llmasin, off Magadi Road in Kajiado County. So the only languages I knew I was some Kiswahili, Kikuyu and a few Maasai words. We had just moved from our village and joined a new school where English was the language of communication, and my grasp of the language was shaky at best. Before I knew it-ssshhhh-I had wet my uniform.

Good thing I was, and still am, a creative child-just that now, I am an adult. During our lunch break, I basked in the hot sun, and voila! My dress dried like magic. However, the stench was fetid, and I had to sit alone for the rest of the afternoon.

Later that day, just as the bell was about to ring, I heard the familiar sound of a plane. I’ve always loved planes and dreamt of becoming a pilot. My little feet carried me outside the classroom as I shouted excitedly, “Ndio ile ndege! Ndio ile ndege! Ndio ile ndege!” (There goes the plane). Ladies and gentlemen, that is how, after a whole day of trying to stay out of trouble, I ended up wearing the infamous gunny bag labeled, “I am a fool, and I cannot speak English.” But that’s not the end of the story. In the following weeks, I observed and listened to other children, and I learned to say, “Mayai go to ze toile.” (May I go to the toilet.) Looking back, I learned three valuable lessons:

1. Learning involves making mistakes; embrace them but strive not to repeat them.
2. Speak up, even if your words aren’t perfect.
3. Unpleasant “stenches” often isolate us, but they also teach us valuable lessons.

Life has been a journey of challenges and triumphs. I walked miles from Matopeni to Njiru, fueled by my thirst for education and a better life. School fees were a constant struggle, and I was often sent home. Yet, I excelled academically and in extracurricular activities. Just like our fathers of faith, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I had my own name for God: The “God of last-minute miracles” because He always showed up-often just in time.

These lessons have stayed with me and shaped how I approach life. My journey from childhood to adulthood has been one of resilience and grace. God is always at work, turning my wounds into wisdom, my pain into purpose, and my challenges into opportunities for growth. 

I am a first generation graduate. During my postgraduate studies, as an adult, I experienced big wins: starting my own business, SimpleJoys Creatives, taking my first international flight, networking with high-profile individuals, and starting a journey of finding Wambui. This year, God re-edited my story. When I graduated with my first degree, I didn’t even have a photo to mark the day because every shilling I had went toward my mother’s medical bills. But this time, He provided abundantly. On the day of my graduation, my sister and I stood in the rain on a Friday night in Nairobi, drenched but filled with gratitude for how far God had brought me. 

Today, I am here because of His goodness and the love and support of many people. The Gospel Celebration Center (GCC Kayole) family has stood by me ever since my undergraduate studies:

Allow me to say a special thank you :

• To God, my everything, who has carried me through every season.
• Apostle Patrick Muriithi. You have been a great pillar in my life. Atleast at some point when the fear of God was not so deeply engraved in me, I knew I could never in any way disappoint this man. Do you remember the purity pledge we had as young youths in 2014. I still keep it. I honor you sir.

• The Women of Intelligence for your prayers and financial support. I have always felt your love.
• Pst. Grace for being my pastor, a friend, a mentor and a mother. People say we look alike. I guess that is what happens when God orders your steps.

                                                     

                 

• Deacon Kirimi for reaching out when I was in school.
• To Blessings and Josh-this family fed me during my internship at Mama Lucy Kibaki Hospital
• Cynthia, Kendi, Koome, you have been an awesome friends.

• I may not mention all of you be names. I am however grateful. Thank you, Gospel Celebration Church, for being a part of my journey, for walking this path of faith together, and for reminding me that we are stronger when we stand as one in Christ. May God bless you abundantly.

In absentia hearty regards to:

• To my family and friends, for their endless love and encouragement.
• To CIAT and CESAAM, for sponsoring my education.
• To the DAFTECH community at Egerton University and all laboratories for their technical support.
• To my furry and feathered friends—my cats and chickens—for adding joy to my days.
• To Lola Designs, my tailor, for always making me look my best.
• To my supervisors-Dr. Waswa, Dr. Robert, and Prof. Mahungu-for their guidance and encouragement.
• And to myself, for striving to the very end.

Through this journey, I didn’t just master food science and technology:

• I learnt to seek and find God.
• I learnt to name and navigate my emotions.
• I learnt to heal, forgive, and let go.
• I learnt that taking time to recharge is not selfish-it’s essential to service.
• I learnt to love deeply, network widely, and serve boldly.
• I learnt shared values are key to our everyday life.
• I learnt to keep the little dreamer alive
• Most importantly, I learned to live- not just survive, but to truly live intentionally and to live well.

As I close, I want to encourage each of you to reflect on your own journey. Celebrate how far you’ve come, no matter how small the steps may seem.

To the young ones here: dream big and stay curious. Challenges are stepping stones to greater things.
To the adults: Let us continue to be the shoulders on which the next generation stands.

And always remember:

• You are not alone-God walks with you every step of the way.
• Love boldly, like Christ does.
• Live boldly. Push yourself. Don’t settle. Live well.

I leave you with the words of Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

My name is Mary Wambui Muroki.

I go by “Marie the Food Doctor "a certified clinical nutritionist, food scientist, and an aspiring key note speaker. I did not become a pilot although I still love planes and travelling. However looking back, by the help of God, I believe I have been flying to greater heights and in charge of my life and so many destinies that God has entrusted me with. At my core, I believe that God never wastes experiences and that every day is an opportunity to grow, make a difference, and live a healthier, more meaningful life than the day before. Seeing others discover and live out their purpose brings me immense joy, and I am grateful for the chance to inspire and be inspired by those I encounter...and when every other title is stripped off, I still have my identity:  

 

I am a daughter of the most high God.

I am loved.

I am redeemed.

I am enough and I live boldly.

Thank you.

   

Acknowledgement 

This is a speech I gave at Gospel Celebration Church Kayole, my home church, during our Thanksgiving Service. Having recently graduated and been physically away for almost two years, I returned to my roots to express my gratitude to my faith family, a community that has nurtured and supported me through my journey, from my teenage years (after secondary school) to adulthood (post-secondary school).

I am profoundly grateful for the love, encouragement, and unwavering support I have received from this church. It is a bond I deeply cherish, and one that has shaped me in countless ways.

You can access the recording of this speech through this link on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/live/USETIT3IgTU?si=ovoN2AK2CImIptnq. Feel free to listen to the entire sermon (great wisdom) or scroll toward the end of the video to find my speech. Additionally, you can stay connected with the church by following Gospel Celebration Church Kayole on all social media platforms.

Photo Credits: Wartexplatnumzdesigners. 

Contact: +254706453640

About the Author

Mary Wambui Muroki is a wellness enthusiast who is passionate about life, living it for the glory of God and in a holistic manner. Wambui believes that everything is possible for all those who dare to dream, imagine and believe in the beauty of their dreams. Her personality showcases her as a vibrant and cheerful soul, a lady with deep wells of empathy, creativity, imagination and a unique communication style. Her abilities include community engagement, critical thinking, business development and working with organizations that steer head youths and community development at the grassroots level. Wambui has been shaped by her childhood experiences (both good and traumatic). Wambui has gone through the Lead -Self pillar with the sub-theme rebirth at Lapid Leaders Africa, and working on herself through counselling and therapy. Recently, she took a master class on purpose clarity with Reconfidence Solutions Africa and working towards her purpose. Wambui aspires to be a certified sports nutritionist and run a program that incorporates nutrition, sports, art and life coaching to empower individuals, organizations and the community to nurture a holistic approach to living life boldly. Wambui enjoys lots of tea, nature walks, quality time with her family and friends and playing the acoustic guitar and lawn tennis. Her laughter and humor are unmatched and indeed better days are yet to come.

Connect with me on LinkedIn at Mary Wambui Muroki 

REBIRTH: MY ENCOUNTER WITH THE GUNNY BAG "GUNIA" 

                                                            

By Mary Muroki

Oprah Winfrey once said, "You can have everything, but you cannot have everything at once."

I have resonated with this quote since childhood, a reminder of life's balance., and talking about life, let's start by thanking God for our lives. Abba Father, we are grateful. (Let's all appreciate God). It is lovely to see all of you and, goodness gracious, in case nobody told you today, you look stunningly beautiful and handsome. I had to check that name up. I was trying to evade the phrase “You look good from here.” I do not know why we love using that phrase when we are called on stage, I guess it is a stage thing.”

I saw a plane on my way here and it brought some childhood memories. I was probably 5 or 6 years old and I was excited to start school in a new place. This school was set on a hill and had beautiful flower lawns and big playgrounds. The language of communication was English and there I was a tiny little girl who spoke Swahili, a bit of Maasai, and Kikuyu but struggled with English. The punishment for communicating in our mother tongues was severe.  Wearing a gunny bag with the label, “I cannot speak in English”.

                                  

On this particular day, I desperately had to use the bathroom and I could not excuse myself in English. Before I knew it, ssshhhhhh, I had wet my uniform. Good thing I was and am still a creative child, just that right now I am a grown-up woman; mmmmmh....did I just say that loud...so during our lunch break, I basked in the hot sun and voila! My dress was as dry as a bone. However, the stench was fetid and I had to sit on my desk alone for the rest of the afternoon. Five minutes to the end of the period, I heard a plane-I have always loved planes and travelling. I wanted to be a pilot when I grew up and well that dream is valid. At the moment, I am flying my own life with the Holy Trinity as my cabin crew. Back to the sound of a flying plane, I ran outside the classroom shouting with so much excitement. “Ndio ile ndege, ndio ile ndege, ndio ile ndege” and ladies and gentlemen, that is how after a whole day of trying, I wore the gunny bag a.k.a gunia, until we left school for home. In the following weeks, I watched closely and listened to other children and I learned to say, “mayai go to ze toile”.(May I go to the toilet). Looking back at the two scenarios, I learnt three lessons:

1     Learning involves making mistakes, make as many as you can, but not the same mistake twice.

2. Secondly, sometimes it's important to speak up, even if you don't have the perfect words.

3.   Stench and fetid smells do not attract crowds, most times you are only alone.

As young adults, we grow, make money, form friendships, and engage in all the sherehes (parties) that we want. But there comes a time when each must find his or her own road.

This year that inner voice was as loud as when I shouted “Ndio ile Ndege”. The voice said “WORK ON YOUR SELF, WAMBUI.” Wambui is my middle name, it means a beautiful zebra but I am a human being,...So in the community I come from, we are termed as the tribe that loves money and therefore to avoid labels, I rarely go by this name (I do appreciate money, I am developing a good relationship with money and for everyone smiling, receive the power to make wealth). I remember when I joined Lapid and as Jake was assigning us to our squads he wrote my three names Mary Wambui Muroki. Goodness gracious! I was scared by the sound of that. I think that was a sign from God that it was about to go down.

The last three months have indeed been a time of rebirth with intense sessions on self-awareness and self-leadership. My squadmate, Harriet, once said that when you attend Esther’s sessions you feel like you have been on a therapy session. The sessions on emotional awareness, personality types, unmasking and authentic and personal leadership were very intense. I felt like I was in this huge room with mirrors all around and I had to look at myself, stripped bare, and confront my true self. The fetid smell was so strong that I almost choked and called it quits. I preserved though and here I am…aaah clap for me. I was ready to be vulnerable and take on a head-on collision with every emotion, every original wound, every concept and every challenge that came my way.

I was healing from broken friendships and childhood traumas, which made working in a group challenging. I had almost called it quits with human relationships. If Spongebob was a real character and Bikini Bottom a real place, I would have made my new home on the floor of the Pacific Ocean. I remember calling two of my squad members after one of our online hangouts since they had hinted that they wanted to quit. God has got some good humour. I kept on asking what I was doing with these strangers and could not answer. All I knew was to get to the finishing line, I had to engage with them. And here we are, fourteen weeks later. Appreciate yourself for coming this far.

I just want to thank my squad members for their feedback, support, and love. You have been such a strong pillar and I owe the new Wambui to you. Chris for being an awesome accountability partner, and by the way you still owe me a date. I wish to appreciate Squad Gambits, especially Sharon and Lynn for keeping me on my toes. Adem Jerusha, your resilience is something I greatly admire. To the faculty members, Coach Samuel for your immense support, Francis, Goretti, Ndirangu and Collins for their input, Jake for offering me his bottle of water since the first day I joined Lapid, (I hope you still have some water), Karaba Dennis, a guy who comes packaged with some intellectual jokes and our able CEO, Esther Mwaniki-I remember sending her one huge paragraph that resembled a break-up message. She never replied to the text message. I think she smiled and said, “Lapid itakupanga”(Lapid will sort you out) and indeed I now have my answers. I cannot fail to send my sincere gratitude to all our mentors. You have shaped a soul for such a time like this. Lastly my buddy Mercy Mwiia for her warm sisterly love. God bless you all.

As I come to a close, a few nuggets of wisdom,

• Have faith in three people. Yourself, others and God. This way you get to practice gratitude and enjoy the little things in life. You know like the sun that dried my uniform or the little excited Wambui hearing the sound of a plane.
• Guide your heart with all that you have. That would look like speaking up, standing for your truths, or choosing to surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you.
• Heal from your childhood traumas. This will allow you to make peace with your past, be grateful for the present, and seize your future - which is now.
• Life is a journey. Embrace vulnerability; you know the moments when the foul smell is so strong and you are probably just alone. Put on some resilience and be agile.

We have been released to the world better than who we were before starting the lead self pillar. The goal is to let the lapid (torch) shine brighter and make a positive impact in our society.

You are the light of the world. A city set up on a hill and therefore cannot be hidden (Mathew 5:14-16). You are God’s masterpiece. Only He defines you best.

I hope you know how valuable and beautiful you are.

I hope you remember that you choose how you show up to the world.

I hope you know that you matter to God.

And should today throw you any gunny bag situation, I pray that you get the courage to break loose from such experiences, learn and stand tall. I hope you remember to live.         

Acknowledgements

This is the valedictorian speech that I presented during the transition ceremony from the Lead-Self Pillar organised by Lapid Leaders Africa for Cohort 12.3, Cohort Symphony on the 7th of October 2023. Special thanks to the team at Lapid Leaders Africa led by Esther Mwaniki and Jake Kanyuira for the opportunity to serve and to Ken Muraguri, Mercy Mwiia, Moimet Jackline, Harriet Ndiritu and Njoki Mumbi for their insights. I cannot forget to acknowledge my buddies Jewel Truphena, Silvia Wanjiku, and Caroline Nkirote for showing up during my transition ceremony to celebrate with me. I love you.

About the Author

Mary Muroki is a wellness enthusiast who is passionate about life, living it for the glory of God and in a holistic manner. Wambui believes that everything is possible for all those who dare to dream, imagine and believe in the beauty of their dreams. Her personality showcases her as a vibrant and cheerful soul, a lady with deep wells of empathy, creativity, imagination and a unique communication style. Her abilities include community engagement, critical thinking, business development and working with organizations that steer head youths and community development at the grassroots level. Wambui has been shaped by her childhood experiences (both good and traumatic) and she has been through a rebirth process in the Lapid Leaders Africa, the Lead-Self Pillar and working on herself through therapy. Wambui aspires to be a certified sports nutritionist and run a program that incorporates nutrition, sports, art and life coaching to empower individuals, organizations and the community to nurture a holistic approach to living life boldly. Wambui enjoys lots of tea, nature walks, quality time with her family and friends and playing the acoustic guitar and lawn tennis. Her laughter and humour are unmatched and indeed better days are yet to come.

Connect on LinkedIn @ Mary Muroki

This Chosen Road

Courage Is Calling: Building Your Emotional Compass

By Mary Muroki

God, I Am Done

The silence in the night was so loud that I could literally hear my breathing. I was working from my laptop trying to crack up this concept for my school project. I guess my laptop was as tired as the owner and so the screen went blank. My heart pace increased gradually and I could literally hear my heartbeat. I could not imagine that everything I had been working on for the last three hours would be lost in a nip of a second. In the midst of this dead silence, just outside a big window directly opposite where I was sitting,  I heard a little bird chirp repeatedly in soft rhythmic tunes that could actually sum to a beautiful and soothing song, one that awakens all the cells and senses in you and brings some sort of healing and calmness. Well, I love music but I am not a songwriter nor a singer (sometimes I try to be one ). I thought of picking my guitar and doing a collabo with the bird but then I realised how crazy that would sound in the middle of the night. I thought of how free and jovial the bird was and for a moment, I wished I was a bird. I closed my beautiful tired eyes and took a deep sigh of breath. I cannot recall what happened but when I opened my eyes, a few tear drops flowed from my right eye and I felt this deep sense of love and calmness. It has been a while since I felt that way and I just smiled as I thought of the goodness of God.

This year has been a rollercoaster for me. The high moments have been very high and the low moments have been very low. At some point, I was not sure what I was doing and who I was. The nights that I slept crying were more than the days I laughed. I think my eyes got used to the meltdowns because I would wake up expecting some sleep bags only to find a clear coast. I would report to work the following day and come back home to the same cycle. On this particular day, I was literally drained; my body was tired from the sleepless nights and the crazy workload at work, my heart was faint with emotional stress, and I was overwhelmed with all the responsibilities that needed my attention. That night, I told God, "Hey, so it is me and I am really tired, can we call this whole life thing quits, it is time you called me home. I just want to be a child. Okay, you know what God, I am done."

Psychological Narratives- Who told you? 

The concept of psychological narratives explains the values of stories and storytelling and how they give meaning to a person's life, shape their identity and retell their story. When I told God I was done, I meant it. The negative voices in my head were too loud to think otherwise."You are unwanted, a reject, useless, unloved, a loser, your family is bad luck, are you sure you are a child of God, you are broken beyond repair, a disgrace, you do  not deserve forgiveness, you are a bitter young woman doomed for destruction..." At that particular time, I could not bring myself to believe anything else. My mind had been so clouded with a lot of negative energy that choked my faith to death. 

At some point, almost everyone has these negative voices that speak louder than the truths in God's word. To some, the list of lies from our adversary the devil could be less than what I believed while to others the list could be more. One thing I have realised in my walk to emotional freedom is that the enemy is cunning always finding a window of opportunity to feed you and me with these lies (1 Peter 5:8). The situation is even worse when we are ignorant of the truth of God concerning our lives. In the book of John 8:32, the Bible says "They shall know the truth and the truth shall set them free." This verse simply means, that in the absence of truth (God's word) there is oppression or slavery.  I equate freedom to living life authentically or simply living life in your true self. However, leading an authentic life is subject to debate, especially in this volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous world (VUCA).  If this concept is not well defined based on God's word- His truth, then we are all doomed. That is why we have toxic positivity, competition between males and females, and wrong ideologies concerning feminism, empowerment and sexuality (a discussion for another day). God remains to be the centre of everything.  I love the line by Miss Clara from the  Movie War Room " Everyone is trying to leave Jesus out and that is why we are in this mess in the first place... When you write that down, do not leave out Jesus." 

I keep reminding myself that if it is not of God then it is surely a trap. In scenarios where one is not totally sold out to Christ and is not knowledgeable of the truth concerning their lives fear and doubt encroach. Such weak moments can lead to emotional breakdown and instead of allowing God to have His way, we get ourselves into self-destructive habits such as smoking, alcoholism, binge-watching and eating, negative self-talk, addiction to drugs and pervasive sexual desires, among others. Furthermore, we get into a state of learned helplessness, believing all these lies to the point of owning the lies and intentionally choosing not to take action and settling for the status quo "that is just who I am or that is just how things are." Before I lose you, letting go and letting God is totally different from learned helplessness. In the prior, you have taken action by allowing God to take charge (submission to His will) and in the latter, you have simply chosen not to take action, it is what it is.

The power of your thoughts

James Allen in his book 'As Man Thinketh' plays a strong foundation on the power of thoughts on character, circumstances, health and body, purpose, achievement, vision and ideals and serenity-aspects that sum up the life of a human being.  James writes, "As a weak man can make himself strong by careful training, so the man of weak thoughts can make himself strong by exercising himself in right thinking." Now if that is not enough reason to make you pause and rethink the narratives that have shaped you up to this point in life, then I doubt anything will. Who defines your identity? Who told you that you cannot overcome those addictions? Who told you that you can never heal? Who told you that God cannot forgive you? Who told you that you cannot break free from your past hurtful experiences? Who told you that you are cursed? Who told you that you cannot find love and love just because you are a single parent, a divorcee or widowed? The list of questions is endless and I hope you take time to confront all those beliefs that you have held so dearly. This exercise was the most difficult step in my self-development journey. I am not yet at my best. I keep reminding myself that I am in the process of growth and it is okay to take a step at a time. Had it not been for God using my little birdie friend, I could have been trapped in negative thoughts just because of a dark screen.

Kintsugi-The Master Potter Jesus Christ

                                  

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery using urushi lacquer mixed with powdered silver, gold or platinum and the end product is a breath-taking piece of art. The technique shows that some things are even more beautiful when they are broken. I have embraced brokenness and my Kintsugi story began when I told God I am done.  I did not want to take away my life. I was done with self-sabotage. I was done with living with unforgiveness, anger and bitterness. I was done finding validation from men and pleasing people. Most importantly, I was done allowing my childhood experiences and my past to dictate my present and my future. I was very broken and at that point ready to take any path that would lead me to light. I was choosing life.

The Psalmist says in Psalms 51:17 (NKJV) "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite spirit, These, O God, you will not despise." God is jealous of our lives. He wants us to cultivate a deep relationship with Him. Being a child of God is not enough. There are just some blessings that you and I cannot access until we are fully under His lordship. Insisting on our own way is pride and goodness gracious God hates pride. It is His mercies that hold us together. However, when humility and brokenness are birthed, the light of God finds a place to penetrate and settle in our hearts.  

James Allen writes "A strong man can never help a weaker unless the weaker is willing." No one else can alter the condition of your thoughts but yourself, with the help and guidance of God and the Holy Spirit. God promises and blessings are true and every blessing comes with a condition.  Darling, even the gift of salvation  (John 3:16) which is free to all has a condition. You have to confess with your mouth and believe in your heart (Romans 9:9-10).  You have to work out your salvation with fear and trembling (Phillipians 2:12-13). Simply stated, take up radical responsibility, sit with your stories, weep if you got to and then choose to make a positive impact based on those narratives.

One thing I have learnt is that if I do not take control of my life with the guidance of God, other people and situations will surely take up that power. It is, therefore, my (your) responsibility to take charge of my (your) life and decide to say no to self-sabotage and probably just tell God you are done because when you are done, that is when God gets to do His job. This experience is not a walk in a path, it calls for courage and audacity to live boldly. Remember, no one else knows what is best for you other than your creator. God remodels and reshapes us to be who and what He had originally planned. Imagine yourself going through the kintsugi process, and not in the hands of an earthly potter (your spouse, therapist, career, beliefs, past experiences, money, fame) but in the hands of the master potter, Jesus Christ Himself. What a masterpiece you get to become. The artwork does not end in becoming but also in doing.

I am grateful that I was broken, that I lost people, my business and myself. Looking back, I actually did not empty my cup, God gave me a new cup. I have the most beautiful golden, silver and platinum scars. How I love life and everything that comes with it. The pain, the hardship, the laughter, the regret, the separations, the sun, the grass, the air, the giggles. This life has showed me all kinds of stressors, but it has also opened up my heart like the great treasure chest ever seen. I have developed a deep sense of empathy and love-my KINTSUGI. I get to choose my path everyday, the courage side of life. You get to choose too darling. The question is, will you take the risk and create room in your heart for God to write and re-edit your story, or will you sit and let other people and situations narrate your story on your behalf? 

About the Author

Mary Muroki is a wellness enthusiast who is passionate about life, living it for the glory of God and in a holistic manner. Wambui believes that everything is possible for all those who dare to dream, imagine and believe in the beauty of their dreams. Her personality showcases her as a vibrant and cheerful soul, a lady with deep wells of empathy, creativity, imagination and a unique communication style. Her abilities include community engagement, critical thinking, business development and working with organizations that steer head youths and community development at the grassroots level. Wambui has been shaped by her childhood experiences (both good and traumatic) and she has been going through a rebirth process in the Lapid Leaders Africa Lead Self Pillar and working on herself through therapy. Wambui aspires to be a certified sports nutritionist and run a program that incorporates nutrition, sports, art and life coaching to empower individuals, organizations and the community to nurture a holistic approach to living life boldly. Wambui enjoys lots of tea, nature walks, enjoying quality time with her family and friends and playing the acoustic guitar and lawn tennis. Her laughter and humour are unmatched and indeed better days are yet to come.

Connect on LinkedIn @ Mary Wambui Muroki

This Chosen Road

   If I Had Thick Skin

  

By Mary Muroki

When the sun sets, and all you have is your pillow...

Nine months ago, I was on the verge of giving up on life. I was heartbroken after experiencing “betrayals” from friends, an aspect that had repeated itself. I was losing myself to the pressures of life and nothing seemed to be working out at all. That is what happens when God decides to edit your story and you are struggling to surrender to Him and quarterly transitions catch up with you. I mean, does a friend decide to hurt you intentionally or ghost you and then play the victim? Who on earth allows themselves to be stepped on like an old mat and thrown away in the dustbin to live with trash? Who allows themselves to be defined by others and lead a people-pleasing life without questioning anything that happens in their life? Who downgrades themselves so that others - others who do not care a dime about them - shine? Who never speaks up or stands for what they believe in? Who sits and watches their ship fill up with water and sink? The next question is a funny one. Have you ever treasured someone as your best friend, all that time you saw the red flags and still sailed on in that ship called ‘friendship’? Well, that person was me. The old version of me, to be precise. Just in case you are trying to join the dots, trust me, this is not based on a romantic heartbreak experience.

All these traits had been born from years of verbal, physical and emotional abuse. I had little to no clue what self-awareness meant or perhaps had the wrong understanding of self awareness. I lived but did life in a manner that was questionable. Before you are so hard on yourself darling, just know there is no perfect way to live life. We are all trying to figure this out. However not on our own but with the help of the Almighty God. Back to the storyline, I knew being silent promoted peace. However, I have learnt that phrase is not true in all cases. I believed I was never good enough and therefore allowed people to disrespect me and my values. I knew friendship was putting myself out there and, therefore, opened up to people who used my vulnerabilities against me. I knew I had to take people's emergencies and keep my needs in the waiting bay (now that is a lack of wisdom). I had to tolerate all the vices and ill-treatment from individuals whose presence in my life I questioned, without even asking myself if what I was doing was pleasing in the eyes of my creator. I believed that nobody could choose me and pity was the driving factor to my friendships. The moment a number of individuals found greener pastures, I meant nothing to them and they moved on with their lives. Honestly, I do not blame anyone for treating my old self the way they did. I had given all these individuals and situations the power to do exactly what they did. I had listened to the lies of the enemy instead of believing the truths of God concerning my life. I had not embraced the concept of seasons and did not understand stewardship over entitlement. However, God remains to be my Abba Father who saw an ailing child and brought all these dramas to a halt (when I decided to be obedient).

                                                      

        When the sun rises, and you decide to live

After a whole month of sobbing and self-pity, life led me to a different path. A path of radical honesty and responsibility. To answer the question, if I had thick skin:

• I would be defined by God rather than individuals by reading His word more, meditating on it and living by it. I would believe every word God says about me and never allow even a hint of doubt to choke my faith and everything God had put in me. (Jeremiah 29:10-11, Psalms 139:14, Ephesians 1). I would talk to God more about everything and minimize my exposure to people who had not been vetted by God in the first place.
• I would take time to heal from my crucibles and all original wounds to avoid attracting the wrong people or tolerating individuals just because I was afraid of losing them.
• I would have defined boundaries in every aspect of my life, communicated these boundaries and executed them while continuously finding effective improvement measures.
• I would set SMART (specific, measurable, accurate, realistic, and time-bound) goal to guide me and defined the mini objectives to work towards these goals.
• Furthermore, I would have well-defined systems and structures governing my life and effectively define my non-negotiables by knowing my worth based on God and His truths not on external accolades.
• Just like companies have financial year review policies, I would have such a plan, but instead do it on a quarterly basis. I would review my finances, my spiritual, physical and emotional well-being, and my social capital, including those in my inner circle. I would be so much more comfortable losing people and appreciating the end of their seasons in my life and vice versa.
• I would be strong enough not to be hurt by words from people who were actually broken and had no clue that they were, or who simply had the knowledge about their wounds but had intentionally chosen to hurt others.
• I would make better decisions using the decision-making matrix, design thinking or the scamper method.
• I would name my emotions and process every tiny bit of what I felt instead of numbing these feelings and emotions or running away from the hurt that comes with such experiences.
• I would shed off ignorance and read more books on self-awareness and understanding what shapes me even before chasing accolades and other relationships.
• I would understand what it entailed to run a successful business partnership, had a working constitution, and created a system that allows everyone to have access to all the business data.
• I would not allow anyone to speak to me in a disrespectful manner or in a way that demeaned me or anyone else.
• I would define my values and communicate them to myself and to the rest of the world.
• I would invest in myself, live and love more and packaged myself better.
• I would be more self-compassionate and self-loving and show up for myself as I did for others.
• I would be more assertive rather than being aggressive at an individual or at a societal level by leveraging the power of emotional intelligence. 
• I would smile and practice gratitude more often and choose how I presented myself to the world rather than the world choosing how I presented myself.
• I would embrace both internal and external self awareness more.
• Lastly, I would live boldly and unapologetically, by working on myself and empowering  others to work on themselves. Simply live as though today was my last day on earth.

Just in case you are wondering when I began to effect this in my life, I am glad to inform you that the old self died and behold here is the new life. I am actually living every bit of this article. I am embracing the tiny steps, one day at a time. I am glad I got to do this before my birthday. I made a vow to commit to my future self and the present Wambui instead of the past me. As scary as it sounds, I took my first step of faith and wrote down some traits of the thick-skinned Wambui. Darling, this world is tough and it needs one to build their resilience muscles coupled with humility and guidance from God to fully enter into your God-driven purpose. The world may be broken, but we have the option of fixing that. Someone once said, "The world would be clean if everyone started by cleaning up their doorsteps."

In conclusion, to become a change maker, the change has to begin with you. You got to name all the vices that you got, get honest feedback from people who are for you and most importantly ask God to vet you. My encounter happened in October 2022. I had just secured a new job and within one week of working, I got bed ridden. The much I did was sleep, take my medication, listen to a sermon and probably pray when I could. I begged God to remodel me and give me another chance to do life. I do not know how I was expecting God to answer that prayer but then almost everything in my life took an unexpected turn. Long story short, I went through a period of loss from October through February 2023.

The small step to change or rebirth could look like nurturing self-awareness, healing your original wounds, viewing yourself and the world through the lens and the eyes of God, and developing a strong sense of internal and external self-awareness. The change does not happen overnight and there is a crucial need to practice patience, become process-orientated, and do everything for the honour and glory of the Almighty God. Only then will you be able to live a fulfilling life. I am still not yet there but I am way better than where I was an year ago.Sometimes I have relapses but I do get up. I have been enjoying every moment of my rebirth process.

I hope you choose to break free from all the negative and toxic voices or situations that speak in your life.

I hope you choose to grow.

I hope you believe in yourself.

I hope you remember how much God loves you and that you are here on earth not by mistake but to fulfill a purpose that He had for you.

I hope you remember to live today.

 And, I hope this article helps.

        

About the author

Mary Muroki is a wellness enthusiast who is passionate about life, living it for the glory of God and in a holistic manner. Wambui believes that everything is possible for all those who dare to dream, imagine and believe in the beauty of their dreams. Her personality showcases her as a vibrant and cheerful soul, a lady with deep wells of empathy, creativity, imagination and a unique communication style. Her abilities include community engagement, critical thinking, business development and working with organizations that steer head youths and community development at the grassroots level. Wambui has been shaped by her childhood experiences (both good and traumatic) and she has been going through a rebirth process in the Lapid Leaders Africa Lead Self Pillar and working on herself through therapy. Wambui aspires to be a certified sports nutritionist and run a program that incorporates nutrition, sports, art and life coaching to empower individuals, organizations and the community to nurture a holistic approach to living life boldly. Wambui enjoys lots of tea, nature walks, enjoying quality time with her family and friends and playing the acoustic guitar and lawn tennis. Her laughter and humour are unmatched and indeed better days are yet to come.

Connect on LinkedIn using the link 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-muroki-5a4b381b2