REBIRTH: MY ENCOUNTER WITH THE GUNNY BAG "GUNIA"
Oprah Winfrey once said, "You can have everything, but you cannot have everything at once."
I have resonated with this quote since childhood, a reminder of life's balance., and talking about life, let's start by thanking God for our lives. Abba Father, we are grateful. (Let's all appreciate God). It is lovely to see all of you and, goodness gracious, in case nobody told you today, you look stunningly beautiful and handsome. I had to check that name up. I was trying to evade the phrase “You look good from here.” I do not know why we love using that phrase when we are called on stage, I guess it is a stage thing.”
I saw a plane on my way here and it
brought some childhood memories. I was probably 5 or 6 years old and I was excited to start
school in a new place. This school was set on a hill and had beautiful flower lawns and big playgrounds. The language of communication was English and
there I was a tiny little girl who spoke Swahili, a bit of Maasai, and Kikuyu
but struggled with English. The punishment for communicating in our mother tongues was
severe. Wearing a gunny bag with the
label, “I cannot speak in English”.
On this particular day, I desperately had to use the bathroom and I could not excuse myself in English. Before I knew it, ssshhhhhh, I had wet my uniform. Good thing I was and am still a creative child, just that right now I am a grown-up woman; mmmmmh....did I just say that loud...so during our lunch break, I basked in the hot sun and voila! My dress was as dry as a bone. However, the stench was fetid and I had to sit on my desk alone for the rest of the afternoon. Five minutes to the end of the period, I heard a plane-I have always loved planes and travelling. I wanted to be a pilot when I grew up and well that dream is valid. At the moment, I am flying my own life with the Holy Trinity as my cabin crew. Back to the sound of a flying plane, I ran outside the classroom shouting with so much excitement. “Ndio ile ndege, ndio ile ndege, ndio ile ndege” and ladies and gentlemen, that is how after a whole day of trying, I wore the gunny bag a.k.a gunia, until we left school for home. In the following weeks, I watched closely and listened to other children and I learned to say, “mayai go to ze toile”.(May I go to the toilet). Looking back at the two scenarios, I learnt three lessons:
1 Learning involves making mistakes, make as many as you can, but not the same mistake twice.
2. Secondly, sometimes it's important to speak up, even if you don't have the perfect words.
3. Stench
and fetid smells do not attract crowds, most times you are only alone.
As young adults, we grow, make
money, form friendships, and engage in all the sherehes (parties) that we want.
But there comes a time when each must find his or her own road.
This year that inner voice was as loud as when I shouted “Ndio ile Ndege”. The voice said “WORK ON YOUR SELF, WAMBUI.” Wambui is my middle name, it means a beautiful zebra but I am a human being,...So in the community I come from, we are termed as the tribe that loves money and therefore to avoid labels, I rarely go by this name (I do appreciate money, I am developing a good relationship with money and for everyone smiling, receive the power to make wealth). I remember when I joined Lapid and as Jake was assigning us to our squads he wrote my three names Mary Wambui Muroki. Goodness gracious! I was scared by the sound of that. I think that was a sign from God that it was about to go down.
The last three months have indeed
been a time of rebirth with intense sessions on self-awareness and self-leadership.
My squadmate, Harriet, once said that when you attend Esther’s sessions you feel
like you have been on a therapy session. The sessions on emotional awareness, personality types, unmasking and authentic and personal leadership were very intense. I felt like I was in
this huge room with mirrors all around and I had to look at myself, stripped
bare, and confront my true self. The fetid smell was so strong that I almost
choked and called it quits. I preserved though and here I am…aaah clap for me.
I was ready to be vulnerable and take on a head-on collision with every
emotion, every original wound, every concept and every challenge that came my way.
I was healing from broken friendships and childhood traumas, which made working in a group challenging. I had almost called it quits with human relationships. If Spongebob was a real character and Bikini Bottom a real place, I would have made my new home on the floor of the Pacific Ocean. I remember calling two of my squad members after one of our online hangouts since they had hinted that they wanted to quit. God has got some good humour. I kept on asking what I was doing with these strangers and could not answer. All I knew was to get to the finishing line, I had to engage with them. And here we are, fourteen weeks later. Appreciate yourself for coming this far.
I just want to thank my squad members for their feedback, support, and love. You have been such a strong pillar and I owe the new Wambui to you. Chris for being an awesome accountability partner, and by the way you still owe me a date. I wish to appreciate Squad Gambits, especially Sharon and Lynn for keeping me on my toes. Adem Jerusha, your resilience is something I greatly admire. To the faculty members, Coach Samuel for your immense support, Francis, Goretti, Ndirangu and Collins for their input, Jake for offering me his bottle of water since the first day I joined Lapid, (I hope you still have some water), Karaba Dennis, a guy who comes packaged with some intellectual jokes and our able CEO, Esther Mwaniki-I remember sending her one huge paragraph that resembled a break-up message. She never replied to the text message. I think she smiled and said, “Lapid itakupanga”(Lapid will sort you out) and indeed I now have my answers. I cannot fail to send my sincere gratitude to all our mentors. You have shaped a soul for such a time like this. Lastly my buddy Mercy Mwiia for her warm sisterly love. God bless you all.
As I come to a close, a few nuggets of wisdom,
- Have faith in three people. Yourself, others and God. This way you get to practice gratitude and enjoy the little things in life. You know like the sun that dried my uniform or the little excited Wambui hearing the sound of a plane.
- Guide your heart with all that you have. That would look like speaking up, standing for your truths, or choosing to surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you.
- Heal from your childhood traumas. This will allow you to make peace with your past, be grateful for the present, and seize your future - which is now.
- Life is a journey. Embrace vulnerability; you know the moments when the foul smell is so strong and you are probably just alone. Put on some resilience and be agile.
We have been released to the world better than who we were before starting the lead self pillar. The goal is to let the lapid (torch) shine brighter and make a positive impact in our society.
You are the light of the world. A
city set up on a hill and therefore cannot be hidden (Mathew 5:14-16). You are
God’s masterpiece. Only He defines you best.
I
hope you know how valuable and beautiful you are.
I
hope you remember that you choose how you show up to the world.
I
hope you know that you matter to God.
And should today throw you any gunny bag situation, I pray that you get the courage to break loose from such experiences, learn and stand tall. I hope you remember to live.
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